Last minute shopping, nativity costumes, teachers’ presents and overexcited children. Dealing with Child Arrangements at Christmas can be a challenge.
All part of the fun of the run up to the festive season but for parents who don’t live together there can be additional stresses, not to mention costs. Traditionally in November and December a large part of our work is dealing with what is generally known as ‘Christmas contact’. Ideally, arrangements for your children if you separate are agreed by you both, not dictated by the court. However, if you can’t agree, or you have a court order that is non-specific about times and dates then the Court may need to be involved. Courts are extremely busy at this time of year dealing with applications and it gets busier as the big day draws nearer so start discussions now.
If you have to apply to Court it is likely the Judge simply doesn’t have time to fully consider all the issues raised, or you can’t get a court hearing at all and the children miss out on seeing one of you. Our advice therefore is to try and sort arrangements out between you, compromise as much as you can and keep the children’s feelings central in your discussions. Children need their parents to agree on a plan that is workable, fair to everyone and puts them first.
Top tips
- Be flexible and realistic about what you are asking for and how it affects the other parent. If you reach agreement, make sure you stick to it; be on time. It’s not helpful for children if they are dropped off with a parent who is worried, or fuming! Because you are late.
- Remember it is not just you two, they have wider family on both sides they would probably like to see over Christmas too.
- Don’t try to compete with presents, it makes children feel uncomfortable. Asking the children to make list and then agreeing on what each of you will give them works well and avoids duplications which can be awkward.
- Keep the children out of it, if you ask them they will almost certainly say they want to be with whichever parent is asking, they don’t want to upset either of you so don’t try and make them choose.
- And finally, at least try and agree a truce for the Christmas period, even if you are embroiled in court proceedings over the divorce or ongoing arrangements, they managed it for Christmas Day in 1914 during the war!
Why choose Heritage Park Family Law…?
Because we know Family Matters
Call now on 01525 406030 to book a free enquiry with one of our experts or fill in the form and we will call you back in within 24 hours.
