Bitter Divorce or Conscious uncoupling? Do you have a choice?
Gwyneth Paltrow has often been the subject of ridicule and when she announced on her website that a ‘conscious uncoupling’ had taken place between her and Chris Martin the tabloids jumped on it as yet another example of her insufferable smugness. But does she have a point? And is it possible? We are hearing that even the much hyped bitter ‘Brangelina’ divorce seems to be finding a resolution away from the prying eyes of the tabloid. So, is an amicable divorce possible? And if so, how do you go about getting one?
Figures released by the Office for National Statistics in 2020 estimate that 42% of marriages now end in divorce. The figures for co-habiting couples show that 27% of couples who were living together at the time their first child was born will have separated before its 5th birthday. Depressing news perhaps but does it have to be? Modern society views marriage as a lifelong commitment but we are living three or more lifetimes compared to our ancestors. Experts suggest therefore that our biology and psychology are simply not set up to be with one person for four or five decades and so when a relationship breaks down, we shouldn’t consider it a failure. Conscious uncoupling is about remembering that you are still parents, avoiding blame and criticism and striving to reach a compromise so you can both move on as quickly and painlessly as possible; the right family lawyer can help you do that. People often think seeking the advice of a Barrister is the last resort and should be undertaken only if absolutely necessary when relations break down completely and court proceedings are anticipated but getting the right advice at the outset frequently makes for a smoother transition through the process and a far less costly experience. Knowing your likely entitlement and obligations is also a great help in discussing the separation with your partner and how issues such as the children and finances should be resolved and can manage expectations on both sides.
Family lawyers are obliged, among other things, to encourage clients to put the best interests of any children first, keep financial and children issues separate, balance the benefits of any steps against the likely costs and always deal with disputes in a constructive way to encourage agreement. Since 2004 the public have been able to approach a barrister directly without having to first see a solicitor and there can be considerable costs savings in doing this. Primarily that you only have one lawyer instead of two that was the case traditionally so you can avoid any duplication of work and retain control in the process by using your barrister as much or as little as you wish. By using a specialist, you can be sure you are getting value for money and receive a personal service tailored to your specific requirements. We always offer a free initial consultation so that we can discuss your case together in general terms and you can decide which lawyer is right for you.
